Sex Harassment for Kids

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Boy, have sensitivities changed since I was a kid in the ’70s — especially where sexual harassment is concerned.

I speak of an incident that occurred three years ago at an elementary school in Oregon. According to abcnews.go.com, two 13-year-old boys were arrested for “slapping girls on the rear end.”

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Both spent five days in a juvenile detention joint. Both were charged with several counts of felony sex abuse.

If convicted, both would have had to be registered lifelong as “sex offenders” — and spend up to 10 years in the clink.

That surely wasn’t the reaction when I was a victim of sexual harassment in my sixth-grade year.

A girl in my class — I’ll call her Susie Smitten — had the hots for me. Who could blame her? I was one of the better “keep-away” players. And even though I had big ears and a bad haircut, I wasn’t a bad catch by sixth-grade standards.

One day during recess, I noticed that Susie was looking at me with misty eyes.

I’d never seen a girl look at me like that before. The only female look I’d known prior was the one my sisters gave me when I failed to change the toilet paper roll when the paper ran out.

During the last month of school, Susie tried multiple times to hold my hand under our desk in biology class.

She followed me into the hall and tried to hug me.

One day she really crossed the line. Our biology class was in the woods, studying leaves, when she tried to blindside me with a kiss.

Tommy Gillen shouted out a warning and I managed to jump from her path. She nicked me, but, for the most part, I got away clean.

Susie’s harassment was relentless, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Had I reported her conduct to our teachers, they wouldn’t have believed me.

Had I told my parents and sisters about it, they would have made fun of me.

And a lawsuit was clearly out of the question.

It was 1973, after all — well before numerous sexual harassment laws were on the books.

It was before women’s groups, such as the American Association of University Women, released numerous studies that claimed sexual harassment is rampant in American schools.

It was before the courts could hold schools responsible for sexual harassment under ambiguous laws.

It was before Congress was appropriating millions of dollars under laws such as the Women’s Educational Equity Act to provide “gender-equity training programs to make boys treat girls more sensitively and to ensure an environment free from sexual harassment and abuse.”

I had little recourse to get Susie to back off — at least until I made it through puberty.

On one hand, it’s good that our society is now more aware of, and sensitive to, legitimate sexual- harassment concerns.

On the other hand, with all our laws, rules, policies, research and advocacy groups in place, aren’t we delegitimizing genuine sexual-harassment cases by overreacting to marginal ones?

Which brings us back to the incident at the Oregon middle school.

Police investigators soon discovered that “slapping girls on the rear end” was a fairly common practice at the school — some girls were doing likewise to boys.

Most agreed that the behavior was inappropriate. But criminal? Four females listed as victims asked the judge to drop the charges and the judge finally did.

According to the News-Register of McMinnville, Ore., a settlement was reached that called for both boys to pay the four girls $250 each, apologize to them and complete a “boundaries education” program, whatever the heck that is.

As I said, sensitivities sure have changed since I was a kid in the ’70s.

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©2010 Tom Purcell. Tom Purcell, a humor columnist for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, is nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. For more info contact Cari Dawson Bartley at 800 696 7561 or email [email protected]. Visit Tom on the web at www.TomPurcell.com or e-mail him at [email protected].


Comments

4 responses to “Sex Harassment for Kids”

  1. Cruella Avatar

    Well although I couldn’t agree more that the reaction to the two boys behaviour is grossly out of proportion I think there is a wider context to it. Slapping girls on the rear doesn’t seem from my life experience (child and adult) to be an expression of emerging romantic feeling (whereas Susie’s forlorn gazing and misguided kiss does fit that description). In fact any time a guy has tapped me on the backside it’s been an expression of a desire to show off to his mates about his willingness to be inappropriate and creepy to women. I just don’t know of a relationship that started with a pat on the rear. So I am led to conclude it is really an expression of male power being exercised over women. Now the boys in question have no doubt learnt this behaviour somewhere, and it may well be related to the increasing pornification of our culture, it’s not that I’m blaming them per se. But there is a growing problem of sexual harassment in schools. We have to draw a line between what is emergent sexuality and what is an expression of gender-related which can lead to girls becoming withdrawn in school, falling behind, dropping out as well as eating disorders, self harm and suicides. That sort of thing does need to be nipped in the bud (though I agree, not with custodial sentences).

  2. geoff Avatar

    "As I said, sensitivities sure have changed since I was a kid in the ’70s." Yeah, it seems like Catholic priests can't just rape kids any more, either.

    I agree with Cruella: "it is really an expression of male power being exercised over women." There doesn't seem to be anything romantic to it. "Now the boys in question have no doubt learnt this behaviour somewhere," Older James Bond movies, maybe; not some light, romantic comedy (Hugh or Cary Grant, etc.). Maybe, from the boy's POV, the schools did overreact; what did the girls' parents think, though? Obviously the school should have done something sooner before the situation got so widespread, but you can imagine the usual fear of lawsuits.

    I mean: aren't girls supposed to learn more than to just be so much meat for guys to handle?

    Interesting that these "numerous studies" only "claimed sexual harassment is rampant in American schools." What proof would you need, Tom? Besides, say, pinups in lockers, a whole lot of Barbie-doll imagery, MTV-style ads…?

  3. Amilam Avatar
    Amilam

    This is a byproduct of our system now where schools have no ability to handle these kinds of situations without the risk of being sued and thus every issue has to be dropped into our ham fisted legal system. It reminds me of the story about police coming and handcuffing a 5 year old girl that was acting out of control. The hidden story was twenty years ago this would have never happened because the teacher or principle would have been able to restrain the child or remove her from the classroom without fear of being taken to court.

    If I was a teacher and I had to chose between calling a cop or losing my job you bet I would do the exact same thing. Sorry, this is what we as a society chose to become.

  4. Cal Avatar
    Cal

    “If I was a teacher and I had to chose between calling a cop or losing my job you bet I would do the exact same thing. Sorry, this is what we as a society chose to become.”

    I am a teacher and I agree on both counts. And ‘sorry’ is the right word. I don’t think corporal punishment is the answer although the one paddling I got in 3rd grade put the fear of God in me. The fear of law suits not only makes teaching less fun it changes how we interact with kids and how we let them interact with one another. In many cases, it keeps us from having much of a sense of humor or tolerance to let kids be kids. Some of that makes sense, as we can’t let 15-year olds grab a girl’s behind. But a ten-year old? Big difference. He still isn’t thinking in sexual terms. Scold him, let his parents know and be done with it if it’s a one-time thing. Not now. That has to be reported. If the same boy brings a toy gun from his cereal box, that has to be reported. If you don’t report it you risk losing your job. All of that is a big part of the reason I went back to an elementary school after three years at a junior high.

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